Remembering and Forgetting

In my current story project (the Farm), I’m focusing a lot of attention on remembering and not forgetting. I think about these concepts often. So, when I was listening to the radio this morning and heard the lyrics “I drink to remember, I smoke to forget,” it made me curious.

In my project, I’m particularly interested in working through the differences between the acts of remembering and not forgetting. While they seem the same, I see subtle differences that influence how we use storytelling to perform each of them. In contrast, the lyrics I heard, which are the opening lines to “Two Fingers” by Jake Buggs, are about remembering and forgetting. But, as I listened to the song and then read through the lyrics, I realized that both my project and Buggs’ song struggle with, in sharply different ways, questions about our past/heritage. What should we remember? What do we need to forget? Can we forget our past when it shaped who we are now?

Two Fingers

I drink to remember, I smoke to forget
Some things to be proud of some stuff to regret
Run down some dark alleys in my own head
Something is changing, changing, changing

I go back to Clifton to see my old friends
The best people I could ever have met
Skin up a fat one, hide from the Feds
Something is changing, changing, changing

So I kiss goodbye to every little ounce of pain
Light a cigarette and wish the world away
I got out, I got out, I’m alive but I’m here to stay
So I hold two fingers up to yesterday
Light a cigarette and smoke it all away
I got out, I got out, I’m alive but I’m here to stay

He’s down in the kitchen drinking White Lightning
He’s with my momma, they’re yelling and fighting
It’s not the first time praying for silence
Something is changing, changing, changing

There’s a story for every corner of this place
Running so hard you got out but your knees got grazed
I’m an old dog but I learned some new tricks yeah

So I kiss goodbye to every little ounce of pain
Light a cigarette and wish the world away
I got out I got out I’m alive but I’m here to stay
So I hold two fingers up to yesterday
Light a cigarette and smoke it all away
I got out I got out I’m alive but I’m here to stay

Hey, hey it’s fine
Hey, hey it’s fine
Hey, hey it’s fine
I left it behind

In Buggs’ lyrics I see some ambivalence about remembering and forgetting. Mostly he’s resolved to forget and to honor his own survival (he got out), but a few lines (like, “but I’m here to stay”) suggest that he doesn’t want to entirely reject his roots/past. His conflict between remembering and forgetting reminds me of Dorothy Allison’s work, especially in “A Question of Class” and Two or Three Things I Know for Sure.